i was abducted by aliens.

(or some other outlandish reason as to why I've been gone for the past several months with no explanation.)

I keep staring at these blank blog posts and wondering what to write. One (that's currently sitting in my drafts) is a letter to my youngest sister about growing up and staying true to yourself in the face of peer pressure (something that has been increasing difficult for me and something I've been seeing increasingly more of as a jr. high volunteer at my church). The other that's sitting in my drafts turned into a short story sort of thing that I'm not terribly pleased with and features a bit of swearing and therefore won't be shared here. Terribly sorry.

(things that have taken over my life)
- college
- work
- laziness
- travelling
- a lack of chocolate

(things that I'm endeavoring to do more of)
- running now that my leg is completely healed
- studying since college is a thing
- uhh sleeping because college is only a thing two days a week
- working (a lot)

(things that I need to do)
- let go move on and stop overthinking the little things
- blog

I've missed ya'll, and I'm praying that this is me coming back for good. It's been a long (and good) break, but I'm ready to write again. How're ya'll doing?

the bucket list. // summer edition

run, fast and slow and everyday

get my drivers license, finally

learn to surf

take a roadtrip with friends

eat baklava at a food festival

sleep under the stars

write poetry

catch a falling star and make a wish on it's trail

watch once upon a time

bake a cake

host a tea party

read all the books Rory Gilmore read in Gilmore Girls

cry because Bucky Barnes

travel, far and wide and miss home

// untitled.

It's been a while. A few months, a handful of weeks strung together and moving oh so slowly. It's been  yelling matches and shoving and almost needing red and blue flashing lights to pull up in front of my house. It's been good news and bad news and news that could hardly be called either good or bad.  It's been four months. It's been four new lines on my arms and countless sleepless nights. It's been crying and sobbing and clutching at my stomach when the tears can't come any longer ad all that's left is nausea.

It's been countless apologies and angry words and more apologies to follow. It's been me, screaming out for something, and not finding it. It's been three journals, filled, and yet no words to share with those around me. It's been runs and worn out shoes and music that's been listened to way too loud. It's been running away, not necessarily on my own two feet. It's been crying in church and in the bathroom after worship. It's been guilt and pain and screaming at God. It's been realizing that I am limited, and He is limitless.

It's been four months. I'm sorry.